• “Someone’s enjoying something? Quick, let me ruin it!” – social media

    Posted by on April 29, 2019

    HOLY HELL, do we need a purge.  That’s not a question, it’s a statement.  Here’s a rundown of people that suck (more than usual)!

    First, the “I’ve never watched _______ but I’m going to post about how I’ve never watched it seventy-five times and I could have honestly watched three seasons by the time I ranted about it yet again.”  WE GET IT.  You don’t enjoy a movie that literally doubled the revenue of the second most popular movie of all-time, which by the way, was the predecessor to this film.  Good for you.  You also don’t watch Game of Thrones, which is the best show to air since Breaking Bad.  ENJOY WATCHING NOTHING THEN AND SHUT YOUR HOLE.  I don’t like pop music, I think people that listen have bad taste in music, but I’m not stupid enough to think if I post enough about metal, that everyone in America will be headbanging by next week.  Let people enjoy their stuff.

    Secondly, the “director.”  This is one you may not think of, but they are out there and vocal.  The directors are people who would’ve, of course, made the last episode better, because why watch a show or movie and just enjoy it?  Here’s the Game of Thrones version of the “director”: “Only five major characters died in that battle scene, I would’ve made sure 23 did.”  GoT fans, for some reason, because the show kills off a lot of people, think if half the cast isn’t washed out each episode, the writers are selling out BECAUSE THAT’S A REALISTIC EXPECTATION.  Just replace the whole cast every three episodes!  Same with Marvel people and trust me, I’m a stickler as I’ve read all the relevant comics.  Guess what, you don’t need a verbatim movie, you already know what the comics did.  It’s OK (strokes head of nerd, then backhands violently).  YOU’RE NOT A PRODUCER, DIRECTOR, WRITER OR ACTOR.  SHUT YER HOLES.

    I hate these people more than I hate every other people.

    Thirdly, the spoiler aka my mom didn’t tell me she loved me when I was kid person.  The sower of misery, the asshole of assholes, the “I need attention, even negative attention” scumbag.  I saw a few dildos do this, one even went as far as “you guys never comment on my posts that matter.”  Cool, so punish them by being a jerk off.  One guy even said, “My daughter just saw your spoiler and it ruined her weekend.”  Way to go, but hey, that 11 year never liked your post!  That showed her!  Of course, toss in the first example people that never watch chiming in comments like “I don’t like ______, I’m glad you ruined it!”  Well fuck you too, then.  Game of Thrones has over 30 million viewers and Avengers made 1.2 billion, so it’s clearly not you, it’s them.

    I could cover more, but it’s exhausting to think 20% of the people I know are like this.  I just think we can all agree, anyone who spoils a movie on purpose should have a hot sauce enema for each person that saw their post and I’ll vote for whatever candidate gets on board with this.

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