Why God why did I think it was a good idea to take my kids to Dave and Buster’s?

My kids are three and one and my wife and I agreed to take them to Dave and Buster’s.  We must have a gas leak or something.  Here’s how it went down…

Food – Everything on the menu has 2000 calories or more except if you lick the plate the salad came on.  That has 1400 calories.  Nothing like hammering out ribs and buffalo sliders, plus two 22 ounce beers and chasing a toddler around for 40 minutes.  I hope no one minds if I vomit in the pop a shot.

Games – 1/4 of the games are murder shooters, whether the angry model in the jungle Raider lady or zombie murder fun, not really for kids.  1/3 are ticket games.  The claw never works, my son crawled up the skeeball 33 times in a row and they’re too young to dance dance revolution (I’m too old to dance dance suggest changes).  I have to hold my daughter for most of the games to reach them.  I saw the Mario/Sonic 2016 Rio Olympics.  Looks fun, the freestyle swim in the open sewage event was a bit much, though.  We need something tasteful, like Temple Run.  Wait, this is a free iPhone app.  Remind me to sanitize everything also, I just saw a kid licking the air hockey pucks.

Ticket prizes! – I spent over $100 to get a ball my son chewed in half in seven seconds and a stuffed pink snail for my daughter.  All I got to do was push the gas pedal on Mario Kart and watch my son chuck ticket prize toys across the floor.  Granted, if my kids both sleep through the night, I will spend double that and take a swift kick to yambag.