I get that question ALL THE TIME. The answer is yes…but I have no time to write anything down. ‘Member in school they always talked about time management? I was the best at it. In college, I was the weirdo that was hammering out work the same afternoon to get it done. I never all night crammed one time in four years because I took meticulous notes and figured if I didn’t know it from working at it, I wasn’t going to be tired and not know it. This isn’t bragging; it’s just to tell you having kids takes whatever time management ability you have, laughs at it, gives it a swirlie and stuffs it in a locker.
What has happened that is funny? My daughter talks about poop and pee and vaginas all day, every day. She sings songs about robots being eaten by tigers that she makes up. She changes reality to win arguments and when she dresses herself, it’s seat belt worthy. My son isn’t overly verbal yet, but he farts like a 45 year old truck driver, dances like he’s on the Grind (obviously my dance show knowledge is limited to 90’s MTV) and growls and grunts like a cave creature. “Oh I bet you just pound out the jokes, then!” THERE’S NO TIME. I have a roast/debate show tomorrow and I wrote on a plane, on my lunch break one day last week (haven’t had a lunch since) and while running at 6 am. This isn’t to generate sympathy, it’s just me saying if one more person says it to me, you’re going to hear a pop and a hiss, then see my brain oozing out of my ears. The next time I hear it, I’m going to say, “Great call! Now go babysit my kids so I can bring you all this low hanging fruit.”