I love Halloween. Not for the candy and costumes, but because the spawn of Hades will be freed from his ancient shackles and the darkness will cloud the land…I mean I love candy! Forget I said that!
We took our peanut out and found that apparently everyone in my new neighborhood is a stingy asshole, because we had to pass six houses before we found candy being offered. (My mother in law was passing out our candy, relax before you accuse me of being a hypocrite – I bought Reese’s Pieces, so shut your yaps).
It was a good time and even the dumb dragon dog enjoyed herself. When I went to the office Wednesday, we shared stories. I then had two separate co-workers tell me adults in their 30’s with no costumes asked for candy – some with their kids, others without. First off, under no, and I mean no circumstance should you ask for candy over 15 unless you went goofy with insulin and you need sugar to keep from dying. Second, at least have the shred of decency to wear a costume. Lastly, I don’t know if it’s worse to show up without kids or be a lump of crap in front of them.
If an adult shows up to my house next year and says trick or treat, I’m yelling trick and kicking them in the soft parts or telling them to mow my front yard and I’ll think about it. Thanks for ruining Halloween, bums.
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