With moving comes changes, so I’ve been trying to think of solutions for the real world. Here are some practical ideas for those, who like me, would rather be rolled in honey and tossed onto an ant mound, rather than home improvement projects.
“I love this new back yard. The dog can run, it’s so open.” Wife: “We probably should mow today.” 2.5 hours later – “We’re turning this back yard into a cockfighting pit or covering everything with putt putt green and windmills.”
“The trash is tomorrow; each bag has to have a sticker that costs $2.90. Should we buy bigger bags?” (Spends rest of night researching fake stickers and driving around, looking for easy access dumpsters; as a back up, plans on dumping trash into neighbor’s bags at midnight.)
“We need a shed for all these Christmas decorations.” (Converts to Judaism, tosses 15 totes of Christmas decorations, mostly into dumpster behind Wendy’s before being chased off by assistant manager)
Finds tree former owner forgot to plant, still in bucket. “We should plant that over there, make a nice tree line.” (Gives neighbor tree on condition he helps me find fighting cocks or big clown mouth putt putt obstacle.)
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