• Celebrity beach bodies!

    Posted by on September 17, 2017

    There was a very long line at the grocery and so I perused the magazines.  The most loud and in your face cover belonged to Star, which was all about celebrity beach bodies.  It was as ridiculous as I thought it would be.

    First off the Kardashians were on the cover – Kim, wearing a thong with a caption about her rump and Kourtney wearing a bikini with side and bottom boob hanging.  That one was great, because the caption said something about having a nice body despite having three kids.  That’s really nice, I mean, showing off side boob in front of your kids aside, work it girl!  Never mind scarring up to three children!

    Another fun one was Antonio Banderas – the caption made fun of his jelly belly.  I looked it up on my phone.  Antonio Banderas is 57 years old.  WHOA LOOK AT OLD FAT BELLY, HOW DARE HE NOT ROCK A SIX PACK AT NEARLY SIX DECADES!  WHAT A LUMP OF DUMP!

    All the other magazines were about Angelina Jolie doing great or terrible and the English Royal family.  Are these all owned by the same company?  I thought back to a week ago when I heard a Yale student saying they shouldn’t name a building after Ben Franklin – since it was a brokerage firm.  I know now we are doomed, but at least when the nation falls, I’ll know how that Steven Tyler isn’t very toned at 69 or whatever he is.

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