There was a very long line at the grocery and so I perused the magazines. The most loud and in your face cover belonged to Star, which was all about celebrity beach bodies. It was as ridiculous as I thought it would be.
First off the Kardashians were on the cover – Kim, wearing a thong with a caption about her rump and Kourtney wearing a bikini with side and bottom boob hanging. That one was great, because the caption said something about having a nice body despite having three kids. That’s really nice, I mean, showing off side boob in front of your kids aside, work it girl! Never mind scarring up to three children!
Another fun one was Antonio Banderas – the caption made fun of his jelly belly. I looked it up on my phone. Antonio Banderas is 57 years old. WHOA LOOK AT OLD FAT BELLY, HOW DARE HE NOT ROCK A SIX PACK AT NEARLY SIX DECADES! WHAT A LUMP OF DUMP!
All the other magazines were about Angelina Jolie doing great or terrible and the English Royal family. Are these all owned by the same company? I thought back to a week ago when I heard a Yale student saying they shouldn’t name a building after Ben Franklin – since it was a brokerage firm. I know now we are doomed, but at least when the nation falls, I’ll know how that Steven Tyler isn’t very toned at 69 or whatever he is.
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