I have a one year old now and one thing I noticed when I was single and childless was that a lot of my friends didn’t get out as much with a little one in the mix. That’s absurd. It’s very easy.
“Well, time to leave!”
“OK, we just need to grab a few things. Make sure the diaper bag has diapers, wipes for her, wipes for the table, butt paste, skin cream, backup clothes, a binky, two books – no, not those two, the two she likes.”
“Got it, ready?”
“Grab her shoes, the Elmo she likes – no she doesn’t like that one anymore, the other one, plus her snacks, the fruit I cut, her sippy cup, a backup bottle of water, her teething gel, and another hair bow.”
“Dear Lord, we need bigger car. OK, got that too.”
“Oh and her music box – it needs new batteries, they’re in the drawer, but you need the little screwdriver. What’s the weather? We should change her clothes first – no that one doesn’t fit, it’s too small. No, that’s too big. I don’t like that one. That doesn’t match her shoes. I think she just pooped – do you smell poop? That was you? You and her – grab another diaper.”
“What day is it? Am I late for work?”
“Did you cool down the car? Do we have gas? Are we out of puffs? Is her bottle warmed up? When did you take it out of the fridge? Are we forgetting anything?”
“I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN. DELETE ALL OUR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS AND PHONE CONTACTS BEFORE WE HAVE TO LEAVE AGAIN.”
Like I said, piece of cake. Now who wants to meet for dinner in 2018? Let me know soon – too late, can’t pack up in time. See you in 2019!