Red light, green light. Pick a show on your DVR. When your kid falls asleep, Green Light! Watch Game of Thrones assassinations, Better Call Saul drug deals go bad, and Walking Dead zombie attacks to heart’s delight! Red Light! Kid woke up. Wait for Green Light in seventeen days when you finally can watch again.
Freeze Tag. Walk across a dark room. Step on toy – freeze and internalize the pain and urge to scream obscenities while a hard plastic action figure is lodged into the small of your foot. Toss in the petrifying fear of waking the baby as another toy you booted makes a happy song in the background. Unfreeze!
Hide and Go Seek. Set down something important. Have memory and brain function go hide as you spend next 20 minutes looking for it. Oh, the kid grabbed it and tossed it behind the couch…or trash can…or table. Repeat 34 times a week.
The last one is a parent game only – it’s called “Oh shit, my kid fell asleep on my lap and I just realized my cell phone is dying and I have to piss like a racehorse; how long I can hold my bladder and my sanity?”