I live in a nice little area of the city. Trees, streets fairly quiet, and close to a lot of things. What’s to dislike, you ask? My neighbor’s lawn.
My neighbor is either cheap or a huge tree hugger, because he mows with one of those manual blades on a roller “mowers.” Unfortunately, no one taught him to back and forth. About every six weeks, he buzzes the front yard for about three and half minutes, which on a good day gets three of 250 mini-trees sprouting up among his grass. In true comedic fashion, one of his kids was following him with a bubble mower, which probably captured more of the budding forest in its plastic wheels than his Cyrus McCormick model mower.
I have a few options at this point. 1) Buy him a goat. The problem is that the back yard is worse than the front. I’m sure the mountain lion prowling the central Ohio savannah will eat the goat. 2) Mow it myself. That’s not going happen unless it’s raining scotch and I need an excuse to be outside. 3) Blog about it. That’s didn’t work. 4) Set fire to his lawn at 3 am and see what grows back in five months. Anyone have any napalm?