One of the most annoying questions you get asked when you get married is “When are you having kids?” One way to stop that? Have one right off the bat! A short time ago, I heard “Are you sitting down?” I haven’t been married long, but I know that usually means “No matter what your answer is, can you get something/do something anyway?” My wife came around the corner and she had a pregnancy test in her hand. Hmm, that was unexpected.
At first, I refused to totally trust it. Let’s face it, it costs $6 and you pee on it. That can’t be reliable. We went to the doctor and I was expecting a big reveal. Nope, he just started talking about a yolk sac. “Does that mean it’s officially a baby?” He stared at me like I’m an idiot, which is appropriate. I got excited at that point and decided I had better start telling all my wisdom to my baby via my wife’s stomach. Fortunately for her, we found out the baby can’t hear voices for six months. Don’t worry, junior, you’ll soon hear all the important things I know soon. Should I start with military history or just focus on my high school football accomplishments? Parenting is tough already!
I found out quickly I will not be saying “We are pregnant!” Why? First, it’s weird. Second, I’m pretty sure my wife isn’t feeling like we’re sharing the baby when she’s hovering over a toilet or smelling my coffee which she can’t enjoy. We are both very excited though. I’m sure the baby name selection process will warrant a few potential blogs soon – my list has only Abraham Lincoln Coen on it currently, boy or girl.