Comedy has many terrible and ferocious foes. Smartphones are pretty high on the list. Nothing like someone checking into a show on Facebook, Tweeting about how much fun it is and Instagramming their drink all while completely ignoring the show. “OMG! THIS COMEDY SHOW IS SO MUCH FUN! #FUN #COMEDY #LOOKATME #ICANTREPEATONETHINGTHISCOMICSAIDIMBUSYTWEETING”
Drunk people are the worst, but there is a special place in comedy hell for bachelorette parties. I have seen five bachelorette parties at comedy clubs, one was somewhat tame, three were out and out screaming at the emcee within a minute of the show starting and the last one had a woman vomit onto the stage during the headliner’s set. Guess that wasn’t sweet tea in the ol’ penis sippy cup.
The hidden one is sports. I had to do a show in Cleveland the night LeBron played in town the first time when he was with Miami. I could have performed in the nude and not one person would have looked. OK, bad analogy, no one would have looked for sure. Plus they left nine TV’s on, just in case there was a chance in hell someone might not watch the game. This Monday, Ohio State, the defending national champion, kicks off their season the moment my show is supposed to start, right smack in the middle of Columbus. I’m either starting the show early or everyone gets 5 second sets. Maybe both, I want to watch the damn game too.