The only thing worse than pumpkin flavored everything is people bitching about pumpkin flavored everything, but I had a profound thought last year that came back to me recently. I’ve had a lot of head injuries, so this happens. I remembered Blueberry Hubba Bubba last month for no reason. Who says multiple concussions are all bad? Oh, I did forget my wallet two days in a row, but blueberry gum, right?
As I was carving a pumpkin with an obscenity on it for the neighbor kids I decided to eat some of the pumpkin goop just to try it. It was like eating a vegetable form of worms. I would rather eat snot rockets that were recently smeared under kindergarten desks than this vile plant and I’m fat. I’ll eat damn near anything mixed with cheese, beef or alcohol. Pumpkin is indeed the new bacon. It is everywhere. Bacon is OK. I like it on burgers, but let’s face it, if it’s too crisp it tastes burnt, under cooked will give you food poisoning. Overrated, but that bacon shit is everywhere, like pumpkins or bacon just got released with the iPhone 6. It’s fine as is, no need for chocolate covered bacon.
Sometimes stuff is popular for no reason other than it’s popular. Like the Kardashians or Honey Boo Boo. Food wise, I think the best example of a food popular for no good reason is grits. Grits by themselves are like eating large grain sand off a beach. “But Chris, they’re great with butter and cheese!” So is everything. Give me the butter and cheese without having to go to an oral surgeon right afterwards.