Corporate gigs

One of the Gordian Knots of comedy is figuring out how to do “corporate” gigs.  These are shows sponsored by a business or organization.  Most comics hear early on that these, much like the elusive river nymph known as a college gig, pay very well.  Plus they just sound important.  Of course, if you can’t do clean(ish) material, you probably won’t get many of these.  When I first started, I was listening to a new comic who was perhaps the filthiest comedian in the room, bragging about doing a corporate gig.  I was shocked.  How did you get that?, I inquired.  “Well, it was the company I work for.”  You did it at an official work function?  “No, it was during our lunch.”  Did it pay well?  “I didn’t get paid.”  OK, douche, you didn’t do a corporate gig, you annoyed and offended your entire office while they tried to eat reheated casserole.

I got a text last weekend from my pal Dustin for a last second comedy show at a brewery for a private group.  It was a cool setting, great beer and food included.  Of course, one solitary baked bean, which I hadn’t even ordered, but wasn’t about to turn down, bounced off my fork.  I looked in horror as the BBQ sauce managed to stain my shirt in three places about two minutes prior to showtime.  I pondered doing the show shirtless, but I was the final comedian, so I managed to sort of clean it off.  Classy.  Maybe I need to toss a bib into my bag.

The show went well, even though the one drunk lady in the back was yelling for dirty jokes.  I have zero problem getting blue and would rather do a show without content restrictions, but I do what the people that pay me say to do.  If someone offers enough money, I will write an entire set list about antiquing or eating boogs while I’m dressed like Miley Cyrus.  Oh, and by enough money, I mean probably at least 55 bucks.