The new Facebook trend is taking quizzes. Still not up at the level of pictures or kids or bad customer service experiences or restaurant check-ins, but it’s up there. I found out, for example, if I was on Game of Thrones, I’d be Jon Snow. I guess that means I’m a bastard who wears black and is pretty handy with a blade. In reality, I’m a dickhead who wears black and is pretty handy with a blade in video games. Not too far off.
I also learned if I was an Avenger, I’d be Captain America. Probably not so accurate, since I drink like Iron Man, have a temper like the Hulk and my comedy is as well liked as Ant-Man. Who’s Ant-Man? Exactly. I saw a Walking Dead one, but I didn’t take it because I wouldn’t be like anyone on the show. For one, I would actually spend my whole life looking for Dinty Moore beef stew. That stuff is awesome. Second, I get a place WITH A TOP FLOOR AND BARRICADE THE STAIRS. Had to get that off my chest. No one blocks off the damn stairs. Lastly, has anyone thought to get a silencer and look into how to make their own ammo? Just a thought. Of course, I would probably not survive once the booze ran out, by choice. “Let’s band together, everyone and fight to survive.” “We’re out of Beam.” “Well, I’m running headfirst into a herd. Nice knowing everyone.”