The other night I went to get some meat for the grill, since nice weather means it’s grill time. I don’t wear a bib that says something like, “Grillmaster” or “Don’t Mess with the Chef”, but I somehow manage. I went to the grocery and much to my dismay, they didn’t have kabobs. I pondered whether I should strangle someone to death, but found that they did have a good selection of other things, so I allowed their sin to go unpunished.
I ordered a nice marinated chicken breast, but the butcher grabbed the wrong one. “I’m sorry, let me put this back.” I didn’t care, since all selections are fine when you are a garbage disposal like me. “I’ll take it, no worries.” He looked at me and I thought he was going to cry. “Thanks, for being cool about it, I’ll hook you up.” He then gave me a grill treat for two for the price of .81 cents. If there was a camera, I would have turned to it and given a big fat thumbs up.
He was overly nice. What is his day normally like? “Give me some chicken, serf!” “Sorry your lordship, I hath none.” “Fool! Burn him at yon stake!” People are dicks. I considered turning over a new leaf. Perhaps there is something to this new way, a way of patience and kindness. Maybe I can work together with my fellow man. Then a mini-van in front of me was sitting at the light for two and half seconds when it turned green. I laid on the horn and screamed obscenities, “Move your ass, mouth breather!” Well, that moment passed. Oh well, at least I have cheap glazed chicken.
Just finished reading this and if there was a camera that was going to take a picture of me I would give it a big skinny thumbs up. Very funny man.