The new trend in fitness appears to be obstacle course 5K’s. I know, I have done a few. Warrior this, Hell that, Survival whatever, Armageddon blah…basically they encourage fitness stars and out of shape beer guzzlers like me to give it a go and have a good ol’ time. Here’s what you need to know about this new trend.
1) Trust me. You are NOT in the worst shape of the participants. They charge $40 plus to get in. They’ll let the “My 600 lb. Life” cast in these things. Just sign the waiver for the lawyers!
2) Obstacle can mean walking across a ten foot board. It can also mean carrying a frozen ass 50 lb. sandbag 200 yards. It’s like a kindergarten teacher and sado-masochist planned the race.
3) Celebrities abound. First one, I saw Tone Loc. Last one, Arnold Schwarzenegger. I keep this up, I may run into someone really famous like Richard Simmons or the juice guy with the weird eyebrows (is he still alive?)
4) I bitched that they didn’t show the results after my last race. Then I saw my results. No thanks, information society.