The day after New Year’s I had a little tickle in my throat. Two days later, my sinus became filled with plumber’s caulk and I had the energy of an eighty year old man. So my weekend involved a lot of TV and home remedies. I considered drilling a hole into my sinus cavity, but I don’t think my insurance covers it.
I snorted, drank and pill-popped meds like I was Lindsay Lohan on a Friday night (how’s that for a 2007 joke!). My personal favorite was ingesting apple cider vinegar and honey. I like honey. I would rather drink expired tartar sauce rather than smell vinegar. It worked for about ten minutes.
I also managed to watch a lot of TV. Thanks to Billy Madison being on MTV, I saw at least 55 commercials with the Real World and Teen Mom 2. I realized the only thing keeping these shows from being the same is luck and a few rubbers. I also managed to do some manly things like loading firewood and fixing a generator. Well maybe not manly, I mean the firewood was pre-chopped and all I had to do was chuck it in a Jeep. Oh and the generator worked, I just had to put gas on the carburetor, which took me entirely too long to find. Now if only I get healthy this week, I can fight a bear and check off another box of my man card. I’m kidding, if you hear anyone say man card, please slap them.