I was about to head out the door to work when I realized someone had called my phone and left no voicemail. Due to the early hour, I figured I had better call back, just in case. Bad move.
I will put the other person in quotations for this recap. “Hello?” Hi, someone called me from this number about ten minutes ago. “Who is this?” Who is this? Someone called me. “You’re calling me!” (Sigh) OK, I’m Chris. Someone from this number called me. “Yes, I own this number that you’re calling.” (Son of a bitch!) Yes, I realize that, since the whole purpose of me calling you, is that you called me in the first place. I didn’t randomly select this number to call a stranger at 7:25 am and have an inane back and forth with. Clearly, we don’t know each other and it’s obvious to me that you have no clue you dialed my number, thus this pointless exchange of words. (Brief pause) “Who are you? What do you need?”
I hung up on my new best friend and resolved to never call a number that didn’t leave a voicemail ever again. If I had more free time, I would have considered reverse lookup of the number, then going to visit him and beating him to death with the 2002 white pages in my cupboard. Instead, I’ll think I will just write his number in a truck stop bathroom and call it a day.