Parenting 101

I don’t have kids, and no, I won’t do the hacky follow up line that almost every comic does after saying that.  That said, I can’t really say how they should or should not be raised…mostly.  Some people, however, totally drop the ball.

I was at a soccer tournament this past weekend to watch my soon to be nephew play.  Nature called, so I went to find the boys’ room, which was a free standing port-a-john.  As I waited my turn, a red haired boy of about five to nine (I’m not good at guessing kids’ ages) came out of the booth of stink.  I looked down – he wasn’t wearing shoes.  No flip flops, crocs, or even just socks.  Barefoot.  His mom said “OK, let’s go back to the field.”  I nearly puked.

First off, I don’t think you should go to a public park barefoot period.  More importantly, you never, and I mean never, enter the cleanest public restroom on earth in your bare feet.  Now take the worst bathroom you’ve ever seen.  Imagine it’s smaller, hotter, and there is poop and pee festering in a blue juice cocktail right there in your face.  That’s a port-a-john.  I would’ve called children’s services, but I don’t know protocol on bathroom standards.  Sorry ice bucket challenge, I think you may have to take a back seat to my new petition to Congress – outlaw barefoot public bathrooming.