My battle for mediocre customer service

This week, I pulled in and saw the trash and recycling had picked up and we missed it.  This was strange, as Veteran’s Day was Tuesday, which is supposed to push back collection one day.  I called.  “Sir, you missed your day.”  I thought Veteran’s Day was Tuesday, did I imagine that holiday?  “The city doesn’t observe Veteran’s Day as a holiday.”  You gotta be shitting me.  I looked it up.  The county observes it, not the city.  Columbus Day, however, is official!  A day where ol’ whitey found some Caribbean island and introduced smallpox to the Western Hemisphere, but not a day honoring our vets.  My bad, how stupid of me to think the 15th largest city in the United States bothers with taking a minute to honor living and deceased members of our armed forces over someone who never got within 900 miles or 300 years of the founding of our city.  Guess I’m dumping my trash at the closest city park.

I then ordered flowers for my wife.  Irony, her office was closed for Veteran’s Day.  Not a big deal, they’ll just send them tomorrow, hopefully.  I tracked the package and somehow it didn’t deliver.  I called.  “You weren’t there, so they didn’t leave the package.”  I wouldn’t be there, it’s for my wife.  “No one was there.”  That’s funny, because she works in a building with a hundred people.  “The suite number was missing.”  No it wasn’t, but you also said no one was there.  Are you just reading answers off a sheet, hoping I will be appeased?  “No sir.”  I gave him the address again (keep in mind I had to do all this myself, no one emailed or called me).  “So, will you be there to sign for them, Hope Coen?”  Yes, dipshit.  My name is Hope, I just smoke 3 packs of non-filtered Camels a day to get this deep voice.  My parents were very cruel in naming me that name.  THEY’RE FOR MY WIFE!!!  They arrived the next day, in less than ideal condition.  The label had the correct address AND the suite number.  These things happen in threes.  Looks like a fun weekend.

One Reply to “My battle for mediocre customer service”

Comments are closed.