Movie thoughts: The Karate Kid

I pulled up the ol’ Netflix and decided to check out the Karate Kid.  Here’s some thoughts.

Ralph Macchio is not in high school.  I looked it up, he was at least 22 when this was filmed.  Then again, Luke Perry was 45 when 90210 was on.

Daniel-san has picked fights with the Cobra Kai three times and been pummeled each time.  What kind of idiot doesn’t know when to quit?  Then I remembered my attempts at getting girls’ phone numbers for about 18 years of my life.

Daniel has some rocking style.  Camo pants, plaid shirt, and ring neck t-shirt – all different colors.  I don’t see clothes that awful at Aldi’s.

I like Mr. Miyagi’s slave labor training school.  Next time my soon to be wife wants to do a house project, I’m opening a karate school.  “Build the deck.  Right hand hammer.  Left hand grab me a beer.”

If you rub your hands together, you can heal any wound short of bullet holes.

I still laugh every time Miyagi says “Wax off.”

I would have loved to learn karate from a friendly old Asian man as a kid, especially one who gave me a car.  I grew up in Appalachia, though.  I would have had to settle for a drunk guy teaching me how to shiv someone.  Then he would have gave me a shiv, not as a gift, he would’ve stabbed me with it when the voices told him to.

The scene when Daniel beats Johnny is the exciting conclusion.  The worst part is all of sudden, Johnny, who was a grade A douche the whole movie, is cool as shit and congratulates him.  This is more unbelievable than a 60 year Japanese man beating the shit out of five 18 year olds.  Oh well, I still like it.  Wax off, friends.  Wax off.