I went to the library the other day on my lunch to educate myself…or pick up the Walking Dead graphic novels. They have words, so I count them as books. I also decided to hop online and check my emails. There was an older man exasperated talking to one the library staff, an older woman. My inner thoughts will be expressed in ( ).
“I can’t log off my emails! What if someone gets on here and steals my info?” (I’m sure a 73 year old man has a shitload of relevant emails. AARP, Viagra, Werther’s Original coupons…the chain of info is damning, for sure, if it falls in the wrong hands.) “Well…(oh boy, this lady has no clue) did you try clicking the X?” “That doesn’t log me out!” She stared at him, her hand instinctively pointing at the X. “Hmm.” Then nothing for about 20 seconds. “I’m sure it’s fine. Click the X.” I couldn’t take it anymore. “See your name? Click that. Then sign out.” (I could have helped the Somalian next to me easier than this.)
I then realized the flaw of helping a stranger as he filled my next five minutes with stories of internet fraud gone by. He at least should have given me a Werther’s Original. I guess I’m impressed he had email. I gave my Grandma a 1993 unconnected desktop so she could play solitare. She saw a story where thieves could steal your internet and freaked out, even though as I said, she had no internet connection in the entire house. She thought they could just sneak in via magic robot energy and steal her Elder Beerman card with its $250 limit. She also thought Mormons ran every nursing home in Ohio. I don’t want to get old.