I wrote a new premise last night and carried it, all proud, to last night’s open mike. The workshop fired up and this new guy with duct tape on two fingers went into a rant about how all the other comics sucked and he was “born for the stage.” Yes! Another loon. He then went ape shit and talked about hooking up with camel lady and whatnot. Turns out the duct tape, which he never brought up onstage, was for warts. So if you have HPV, just wrap your shit in duct tape.
I had what I thought was a funny joke about how women are so much more caring than men. Example – my girlfriend sent flowers to my family because she’s thoughtful for a birthday gift. I posted on her mom’s facebook page, “Happy Bday!” Not quite the same. I don’t even know what most of my friends do for a living or their kid’s gender, let alone name. That’s sad, but not as sad as the reaction to my joke about that. Oh well, back to the drawing board. At least I have enough duct tape to cure my skin blemishes.