New t-shirt ideas

I realized my shirts don’t sell as well as I would like, so like anything with my OCD, I broke it down.  Here’s what I have observed from doing hundreds of comedy show; the number one rule…  People like shirts that are independently funny.  Example – You may have a great joke about Cream O’ Wheat, but post show, a “Suck my ass” shirt sells better.  That in mind, I have some new ideas; feel free to leave feedback.

“These colors don’t run…because America is too fat to exercise.”

“Mystery bruises = I had fun last night.”

“That’s a great story, you should tell someone else.”

“I use birth control, I pull out.”

“Hangovers only happen when you quit drinking every day.”

“Have sex with me – guaranteed orgasm!  (For me)”

I had about five others, but they were very offensive.  Feel free to leave feedback, I may roll with your suggestion.

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