A story broke this week about a prostitute that got nabbed offering sex for two dollar menu cheeseburgers, so here goes….
First off, that’s a deal. The story revealed that she was 47, but still, $2? Maybe the economy is that bad… I like to think a super size combo meal is in order, but then again, I’ve never been that hungry. Or that hard up for sex. I could give her a pass if she was hungover, greasy burgers are sweet after a night of boozing.
Second, how many tax dollars went into that “sting” operation. The news article actually said, “No word on if she actually got to eat the food.” Really? I don’t condone our streets littered with hamburger whores, but I hope the cops realized, “Holy shit, at least let her finish the meal.” Someone stole a laptop out of my car once and the cops showed up. “There’s nothing we can do. Don’t leave your laptop in your car.” Thanks! Any other advice? I clearly forgot. “Don’t cover yourself in blood before you jump in the shark tank, they don’t necessarily play slap and tickle, they eat your limbs.”
Lastly, I don’t remember McDonalds being good enough to get ass from. “Can I help you?” “Yes, I am trying to bang this meth addict. What do you suggest? I was thinking a chicken sandwich and a Sprite.” “No sir, you’re clearly an ass. Everyone knows a couple McDoubles are the key.” “Thanks again! Can you suggest a romantic location? Perhaps a nice dumpster or seedy hotel?”