I went to watch a show last weekend with my pal Anthony at the Columbus Funny Bone. We got tickets in the back of the room, not far from a table of ladies, 30-50’s. They were pretty loud, especially since half of them didn’t bother to show until 15 minutes after the show started. Ah, respect for the acts.
One particular lady, the oldest of the crew, was outside when I stepped out to chat with Rick, the emcee. She was hammered and proceeded to acost Rick for not wishing her a Happy Mother’s Day…which he actually opened his set with. She had that glassy-eyed thousand year stare and was pointing a lot when she talked. I’ll bet she’s a fine mother, especially since she’s plowed on a Sunday evening instead of hanging with her presumed offspring.
She made it about a whopping 14 seconds back in the room before blabbing very loudly as the feature act was talking. The feature ripped her, but in classic drunk asshole style, she was oblivious because she liked the attention and of course, couldn’t follow the line of back and forth. She was tossed after two warnings and was bitching the whole way out, spending a bit of cash on a ticket that she never got to use.
I like to drink, but I also know if I’m in the mood to talk, I don’t go to a show where the whole basis of enjoyment is nullified by not paying attention. Note for morons: if you want to be the focal point, then work on a bit and get onstage. If not, shut the hell up or go do something else, like talk to semis on the freeway. Thanks for listening! Oh wait, you’re still talking…hope you don’t wreck on the way home, boozehound!