Another softball game meant another trip to our watering hole, where the key focus is the Touchtunes jukebox. I’m not much for pop music, but I know I’m not alone. Here’s my handy guide to music for you!
If it sucks, then consult the following –
Good female voice, but music awful = Lady Gaga. Catchy, but worse singing = Katy Perry…keep in mind catchy means I saw that video of her jumping up and down online and that image sticks, making her music “catchy” because her boobs are huge. Bad song with dude and chick = Black Eyed Peas. Bad rap song and chick = Rihanna and some nameless rapper. Techno beat, two guys = LMFAO, who should be slapped for the band name and the hamsters in the Scion commercials. White chick singing about how she doesn’t need some dumb guy around = Avril Lavigne. Black chick singing about how she doesn’t need some dumb playa around = Beyonce. If the chorus repeats over and over and over and over… = more Rihanna. Someone get this dunce a thesaurus. Oh if I play any songs = no one is getting laid because it’s Guns N’ Roses, Pantera, David Allan Coen or hair metal.