It’s my new ritual to grow out a beard Thanksgiving week. Why? I have no idea. It’s nice to not shave, I guess. It is a fact of life that every guy tries to grow facial way before it’s time. I remember in fourth grade slapping on the shaving cream and cutting my face with my Dad’s crappy disposable, before applying the aftershave, which nearly sent me into a pain-induced coma. Then I got to ride out the day smelling like Brut, which isn’t good for anyone involved. I have never used aftershave since.
In college I made fun of my buddy who grew sideburns, not with actually face fuzz, but letting his mop go uncut over his ears. I then threw away any and all credibility by growing an Abe Lincoln chinstrap. I looked Amish, but drunk and with an offensive T-shirt on. I rocked this fine look for about five weeks until I realized I scared women away without it, let alone rocking that disaster – sadly more on my neck than face – of a beard. I will say at the onset of my mid-30’s, the best part is shaving it off. I feel like I’m 17 again. Except the fact I’m 15 lbs. heavier, wearing reading glasses and with back pain…but my face, it looks 17! Probably not, I forgot to put on my glasses…oh well, I was in denial then, might as well keep that rolling.