Most of us jokesters are quite disturbed. I have worked with one that told me was certified insane and I didn’t doubt it. Decades of drug use will do that, I’ve heard. The winner was an older gentleman who went by the moniker “No Money Down Productions presents Still Gettin’ Paid.”
He came to the open mike, where they have a workshop pre-show. This is a chance for the management to make sure someone’s not going to whip it out or go on a racial cleansing tirade and they needed it this night. He looked like Flava Flav, but rougher. He also had eyeglasses with the fake cardboard eye inserts and his head was shaved bald…except a tuft of hair in the shape of a question mark. He was called upon to present his act and the fun began.
Instead of addressing the surly group of comics (about 15 of us) from the stage, he ran across the length of the room to the back corner and proceeded to do his own intro by screaming. Most of it was indecipherable, but he basically called the group a bunch of bitches and n words for about a minute before running to the mike. He then said, “Y’all a bunch of amateurs. I’m a pro! I do this in my basement!” Sadly, he wasn’t being ironic. The voices in his head applauded, just like in his basement of lunacy.
He never actually did any material, but he continued to berate all of us comics until finally he was asked by management if he forgot his pills. “Yes, I quit taking that shit. It was hurting my flow.” Well, he was escorted out by security and I never saw him again. My pal Dan told me he has been around for about 15 years or so and once pulled out a squirt gun from a chest of props and hosed down the front row. It appears he comes out about every five years. Don’t worry, people. You’re safe for another 3.5 years.