Sometimes, even with smartphones, we get too busy to check emails and of course, miss important Facebook updates. If you’re in that situation, have no fear – here’s what you missed!
– Kid updates. For every friend you have with a child, you will get a minimum of one update every two days. This is usually funny and/or heartwarming, but I know at least four people on my friend list who I am convinced aren’t raising their kids. They’re just following them around taking pictures to put on FB. “Jenny’s seven now! She could read, but I was too busy posting pictures of her cake to teach her how!”
– Political rants. Take whatever ideology you hate the most, and that’s the post you missed. Don’t worry, there’s 17 more from that same person you barely know coming! Thanks for the update! BLOCK.
– Suicide watch poster. “I don’t know how I can live anymore. McDonald’s was out of nuggets today.” Maybe you should do it – you’re depressing me and those Nuggets are mighty tasty.
– Spam funny picture/website link person. In fairness, I post my crap blogs once a day, but please don’t put 97 pictures from lolcats.net on my feed. There’s a cat making a wacky face – oh man, that cat is cray cray! HA HA HA HA HA (gunshot)
Of course, these important posts bury the news that someone you know got engaged, pregnant, is sick, lost a loved one or has a very hilarious comedy show coming up. Come on people! Don’t you know what’s important in life? (Emcee, Columbus Funny Bone, Oct. 29th @ 7:30 – tickets online at columbusfunnybone.com) Quit clogging everyone’s newsfeed with non-comedy show related crap!