– If you base your vote off the VP debate only, you are a moron. I’m a history buff and I can’t name five VP’s that did anything other than wave next to the president at campaign rallies during their terms.
– I give my dog bones when he gets on my nerves and he goes away. If someone invents a human “bone”, I will tattoo their name on my chest.
– If someone calls me chief and they’re not being sarcastic, my butthole clinches up instantly.
– I love dogs. Just probably not your dog. He jumped on me and slobbered on my shirt. “He never does that!” doesn’t work when he just did that. Your dog sucks and so do you.
– I picked up twelve shows in the last 10 days in four states. I sense a traffic ticket in my near future… Thanks for nothing in advance, karma!