More from the booze soaked mind…
#21 If you are a female comic, someone will come up to you after the show and say, “I normally don’t find women funny, but…” This HAS to be annoying, but I have a weiner, so I just have to assume it is.
#22 “Alternative comedy” means a pothead talking and talking until you realize his/her ranting about God knows what is supposed to be comedy.
#23 Every comedian hates being asked, “When’s your next show?” because 99% of the time the person asking has absolutely no intention of attending, even if your next show is 100 feet from their front door.
#24 Any white comic’s first show in front of an all black crowd is the most terrifying show they’ve ever done.
#25 Advice for new comics: Don’t do specific references to your favorite indie band. No one knows who the fuck they are.
#26 Every show, circa 1995, used to give free booze to comics. Now, almost none do. There is a reason why – comedians are alcohol camels.
#27 Every comedian thinks they are better than all but about four other comedians ever.
#28 Hecklers are bottle fed douchebags who aren’t funny enough to get onstage.
#29 For some reason, when you destroy a heckler, the crowd hates you if you go too far…unless they are really asking for it.
#30 Every comedian that has done comedy for 4 or more years has seen a physical altercation post-show. Oh by the way, it is your best comedy story that you tell all your friends.