Chris Coen’s comedy truths, part 3

More from the booze soaked mind…

#21 If you are a female comic, someone will come up to you after the show and say, “I normally don’t find women funny, but…”  This HAS to be annoying, but I have a weiner, so I just have to assume it is.

#22 “Alternative comedy” means a pothead talking and talking until you realize his/her ranting about God knows what is supposed to be comedy.

#23 Every comedian hates being asked, “When’s your next show?” because 99% of the time the person asking has absolutely no intention of attending, even if your next show is 100 feet from their front door.

#24 Any white comic’s first show in front of an all black crowd is the most terrifying show they’ve ever done.

#25 Advice for new comics: Don’t do specific references to your favorite indie band.  No one knows who the fuck they are.

#26 Every show, circa 1995, used to give free booze to comics.  Now, almost none do.  There is a reason why – comedians are alcohol camels.

#27 Every comedian thinks they are better than all but about four other comedians ever.

#28 Hecklers are bottle fed douchebags who aren’t funny enough to get onstage.

#29 For some reason, when you destroy a heckler, the crowd hates you if you go too far…unless they are really asking for it.

#30 Every comedian that has done comedy for 4 or more years has seen a physical altercation post-show.  Oh by the way, it is your best comedy story that you tell all your friends.