Never assume…that the venue knows anything about comedy

I found this out pretty quickly when I started comedy.  I did a show once at a bar and the owner, who was an hour late to the show, asked us where our microphone and speakers were.  In my pocket, idiot.  You agreed to have a comedy show and have no sound system?  Luckily, a person with that preparation also doesn’t promote very well, so the 12 people there heard me just fine.  (That place is now closed.)

Outdoor shows are also horrible.  I did a show at a bike rally in a downpour.  I never thought rubber soled shoes were so important to a routine.  I’ve been interrupted by boats and trains also during outdoor shows.  Keep it indoors, friend.  I’m trying to avoid being the first and only comedian mauled alive onstage in a freak animal attack.  Side note, I would fight a shark on land.  I don’t like sharks.

Finally, I have had the “booker” at a VFW interrupt me by reading bingo numbers and announcing that the grill was turning off.  This was made more frustrating by the fact he stuck by the door, which opened inwards.  In other words, I was getting hit in the back by the door while Ralph (he was old, I assume his name was Ralph) dished updates over my jokes.