Labor Day is one of the dumbest holidays we celebrate. Don’t worry, Sweetest Day, you’re still number one. If anyone gave a damn about trees, Arbor Day would have you though. It was started by unions and quickly recognized by Grover Cleveland to appease them. Sounds like a commie conspiracy… Ironically, now mostly unemployed white trash celebrate this day with cookouts and Keystone 30 packs. I know, they live all around me. I am from Appalachia, but even I have standards. I was behind a guy at the gas station w/ a bar code tatty on his neck. “What is that for?” He turned and said, “That’s the bar code for a pack of Marlboros.” I wish I made that up.
The other dumb thing about Labor Day is that there are so many awesome days we don’t celebrate. What about Bill of Rights Day (December 15th)? Alright, that’s my birthday, so I have a vested interest in that one. Or perhaps celebrating the repeal of Prohibition? Can you believe this was an amendment to the US Constituition? The abolition of alcohol sales? Ending slavery forever, great! Term limits for the president, good! Getting rid of booze, fantast…wait a minute, what in the hell did you say? I would have loved to have been on the floor of the Capitol for that debate. It would have been an alcoholic “Mr. Smith goes to Washington” moment. Homeless men would stand on street corners and echo my famous lines as urine spots in their torn pants grew larger with every word. Frat guys would have posters of me on their walls next to stolen “No Dumping” signs. I would have been the Braveheart of alkies. Oh, to have been born in a different era. Actually, I would have got drunk, passed out, and missed the debate. Damn you, alcohol.
That sounds like the perfect tattoo for Chris and I’s long time buddy Honk.(unless lymphoma has a bar code) While I concur that Sweetest Day is by far the most stupid holiday, I can’t believe you are dogging Labor Day. Don’t try to act like you have never bought a 30 pack of ‘Stones and got wasted. (just because it was a random Wednesday, let alone a national holiday) You can’t pull the wool over my eyes Captain Alcoholism.
It’s a stupid holiday with the exception that I get paid time and a half to work it.
Always thought I was the only one who noticed the whole onslaught of white trash on Labor Day…so thanks for helping me feel a little less alone in my observations. The tattoo? That’s an all time low – even for the WT.