Year: 2010

A gentleman approached me after the show last night and introduced himself, not by saying “Hello” or “Here’s my opinion on your act…”  No, he went the less traditional route and said “You should do more n-word jokes (he didn’t say n-word, btw).”  This of course assumed I did any n-word jokes, which although tempting  (sarcasm) I have yet to include any in my act.  You know what would improve my act?  Extreme racism.  Good thing my target demo is the Ku Klux Klan.  Oh wait, it’s not.  He then told me there were no n-words in his town.  I then “assumed” no black person would be dumb enough to move to a town where there was a drunken idiot like this carrying no prescription cialis a firearm.  Perhaps he should carry his interpersonal skills to other areas, like going to a battered women’s shelter and telling them they probably deserved it.

I went to a ballet last night.  For a chick – before you get too far in your judgement.  The dancers were very talented (I think, I dance only after blackout phase one begins), but it was a little out of my normal life.  I took notes during this cultured moment of my life and I thought I would share.  (BTW this ballet was a weird German interpretive representation of Mozart and death and stuff, lots of oddly dressed people and symbolism or some kind of shit).

My notes:  People have shoes on their hands.  WTF.  Man on man dancing, both shirtless.  Either really German or really gay.  Now there is a stiff trenchcoat and some chick is dancing with it.  Moving on.  More man on man contact.  Ropes.  Simulated swimming.  Wall pounding.  I think they want out.  That makes two of us.  What is with the chair on the wall?  (At this point I think I dozed off for a couple minutes.)  Now there is a man with a red painted chest dancing with a suitcase.  Now it’s getting really weird – I think he’s dead.  Nope, still alive.  Now he’s dead.  His cialis 5mg price girlfriend may be dead too.  No, she’s alive, but he’s dead.  I need to start using drugs.  Couple wearing nude bodysuits are dancing.  More shoes.  Now umbrellas and the nude couple is in ropes.  Umbrella in flames.  Oh my God, it’s over.  BRAVO!  Wait…more bowing.  Five, now six.  Seven, will we get eight?  No, just seven.  Announcer:  “Anyone interested in staying to speak with the choreographer (German chick – my words) who wrote this (is retarded – again my words).”

Well, that’s over.  I now need to bathe in the simple culture of beer and football for two days to get my man cred back.  Alright, two months.  How did Germans start World War II?  We must have really kicked their asses.  Back to cheap beer and 1980’s heavy metal for my white trash ass.

I saw the new diverse lineup for online cialis prescription American Idol.  Randy and his metro elf closeted bi-curious buddy Ryan Seacrest and now joined by two music icons: Jennifer Lopez, who probably has an enslaved third world staff to wait on her hand and foot (she’s just Jenny from the Block – if Jenny is an evil bitch who eats rainbow souls) and Steven Tyler, who doesn’t represent white men as much as trangendered eldery Muppets.  I can’t wait!

Every comedian wants to get college shows b/c apparently they pay well.  I’ve done two, with the third this buy cialis 20mg Thursday.  The first I followed a Christian rapper, the second I no one showed up.  I did get paid though, without actually telling one joke.  No comedy and a paycheck?  I realized I was a gov’t worker!  Yea big gov’t!

Some of you may have heard that the former model, now sports reporter Ines Sainz accused the New York Jets of sexually harrassing her.  Who would have thought that a group 20mg cialis of alpha male athletes 52 deep with about 72 illegitimate children with 45 women would hit on a former model that patrols the sidelines wearing body paint tight pants and her fun cushions hanging out?  What kind of world do we live in?  Next thing you know white trash will start shopping at Wal Mart for Natural Light 30 packs or teenage girls will start watching movies about girlly looking vampire types and texting while driving.  Not in my America!

I have a strange week coming up in October where I will travel to five cities cialis cialis in three states to do six shows in seven nights, including my first ever Pennsylvania appearance.  It’s like my time of the month, b/c I have only one the rest of the month.  Please let people buy my shirts or I’m going to have to buy a hybrid.  Must not buy hippie car…