CHRIS COEN

I watched a lot of Hoarders and the other version on the other channel.  Nothing says needy like someone who hangs on to useless crap like a Hoarder.  One lady moved in w/ her Mom and took over the house in less than a year buying fabric.  daily cialis results Her brother gave her a three month ultimatum and all she could say was “He’s not being sensitive to my needs.”  Meanwhile, ol’ Mom was unable to eat at her kitchen table.  I should be a hoarding psychologist, but instead of advice and counseling I would use verbal assault and a blowtorch.  If your life sucks that bad, hoard rope and exposed ceiling beams you waste of oxygen.

My Dad turns 60 soon – my Mom not quite as old.  I am terrible at showing human emotion, but if not for them, I would be a useless man.  Both grew up rather meagerly and yet endured and thrived despite this.  Neither made excuses or ever made me feel poor despite job changes and moving.  I got my Dad’s humor from observation and irony; my Mom gave me the appreciation of fart jokes and physical humor (see Three Stooges).  Thanks to both for supporting my comedy and me in general; love you both.  Now I feel like a douche.  Poop.  Now I feel better.  daily dose cialis Poop is funny.  Unless it’s on your carpet.

I did a show in Coldwater, MI last night and the headliner was a little late…90 mins late.  I was on stage for an hour and 15 mins. and literally ran out of material at 60 mins.  I ended up just telling some funny arrest stories until he showed up and realized that I am not a normal human being.  Who has 15 minutes worth of getting arrested stories?  I do.  After the show I went to the hotel and went to the arcade room at midnight b/c I was bored but it was shut down.  As I left, a group of 14 year old girls were sitting on the stairs.  As I passed, one said, “That guy scares me.”  It is good to know there are still solid parents teaching their daughters to stay away who makes cialis from guys like me that have a bevy of getting arrested life experiences.  Maybe there is still hope for America.  Not for me, but for America, just maybe.

I love camping.  As long it’s 70-73 degrees, isn’t muddy, doesn’t rain, I don’t get bug bites, my air mattress isn’t leaky, there’s women around (there are never women around), and there is something fun to do like drink.  OK, I don’t really like camping, but if you drink enough, you don’t care about waking up w/ back pain b/c your tent is on uneven ground.  My number one pet peeve is the the classic guy who passes out at 8 pm then wakes up at 5 am to tear down all the tents while I’m in a semi-coma b/c cialis tadalafil side effects I tied one on for 14 hours the day before.  Then that guy passes out as you drive back home and fills your car w/ thick and repugnant beer farts.  Mmmm….PBR gas.  Let’s do this again sometime, Daniel Boone.

Baseball is the worst pro sport ever.  My favorite team hasn’t had a winning season since I entered 8th grade.  How long has that been?  George Bush was president.  The first one.  At least I have softball to fall back on.  Nothing says “I am trying desperately to hold on to my miniscule athleticism” like softball.  Except dodgeball.  I play that too.  The only more beer friendly sport than softball is horseshoes, where if you don’t have a beer in your hand, you automatically lose…and no cornhole is not a sport.  Anything w/ beanbags or cards is not a sport, but it is very beer friendly, so I won’t bash safe cialis it.

The worst things for drunks?  Having opposite sex numbers in your cell after midnight…eBay (I own a Captain America shield made for a six year old)…getting pulled over (everything is funner drunk – except that)…White Castle (best and worst at the same time)…  Feel free to add your brand cialis cheap order own!