CHRIS COEN

Not really, but I bought a ticket to Dime a Dog night at the Columbus Clippers.  What better way to feel like dog shit than to eat 7 hot dogs that have been sitting under a heat lamp for 2 days?  While we’re on the topic, and by we I mean me, is Ticketmaster owned by Satan?  I bought an $8 ticket and all of the sudden it hit me up for $12 and some change.  Multiply that mystery charge by every concert, sporting event, and whatever else and Ticketmaster basically makes eleventy billion dollars an hour.  That is a lot of money.  Good thing I have my hot dogs generic cheap cialis and my pride.

My room in Vegas was awesome.  cialis dosage side effects My luck, not so good.

For those that haven’t heard of it, the Westboro Baptist Church has been protesting the acceptance of homosexuals in our country by picketing at dead American soldiers’ funerals, within sight of their funerals.  They were sued by the father of one dead patriot cialis normal dose Marine for several reasons.  This decision was protected under the First Amendment.  I am an ardent Constitutionalist, but the Westboro scumdicks have obviously crossed the line of human decency.  It is going to the Supreme Court…but for now the courts of our fine country have said that the father has to pay the Westboro court courts to the tune of $16K.  Whatever you think of him, Bill O’Reilly has said he will pay the court costs if this stands up.  God Bless that confrontational SOB.  GD Bill, good move.  Free speech is a foundation of my views, but when we have freedoms, irresponsibilities screw us all.  Hey, Westboro, God is love?  Not to you, neither is respect for our fine soldiers who give the last measure of freedom to protect your insanity – or their families.  I hope you meet God in the afterlife and he pees in your hateful faces with the firey pee of vengenace.

I was at a bar tonight and the classic “I don’t smoke, but let me borrow 57 cigarettes” crew was out in force.  I smoke when I drink, I go up to four days a pop w/ nothing, but when I go out, I buy a pack.  I got hit up for 7 nicosticks in 5 mins. when some dude asked me for one.  Normally, I would have said “go pound sand”, but at cialis without prescription this point it was a free for all.  I handed him one and he said, “This dude is cool, first one to give me a smoke in 3 hours.”  Then he handed me a $20.  The heavens opened up and smiled on my miserable self.  This is proof good things happen to bad people.  For all the times I warded off a homeless bum on High Street with a cancer stick, I finally got redemption.  This of course means that something bad is lurking around the bend…but for once, Coen wins.  Take that, life!

Chatting with Morons featuring me, Bob Cook, and Anthony O’Connell on the way, we cover current events and our comedic mishaps – editing right now, hopefully should be up soon on iTunes daily cialis and my website.   Stay tuned.

I MC’d the Columbus Funny Bone and a new comic was asking for advice before the show.  He was very nice until he got onstage and had no material.  He decided to call the manager a douchebag 4 times and the rest of the comics fags.  Probably not a good move.  “When can you start this sales job?”  “Thanks for the offer pedophile!  I’ll start cheap generic cialis as soon as you fire the other commie Nazi rapists.”  “OK, you can start Monday!”  He told me after the show he was nervous, but I don’t think nervousness and Tourette’s are in the same category.  SHIT!  You look nice tonight, thanks for going to dinner with me.  DEVIL WHORE!  I think we have a lot in common.  I AM A SERIAL KILLER!  Have you tried the chicken parm?  RAPE POPSICLE!  It’s really good.