I had a new joke idea hit me last week while listening to the radio. A commercial came on where you heard a door open, conversational sounds got louder, then dulled as the door shut. Woman: “What are you doing outside, is everything OK?” Man: “It’s just…this heartburn. It’s killing me.” She then chimed in with the perfect solution, a heartburn medicine in her pocket.
The commercial was so serious that I immediately started laughing. What if the guy had a serious problem, like his wife cheated on him and he just found out? He’s ready to jump off a bridge and all the lady had up her sleeve was some Tums knockoff. It would have went like this: Woman: “What are you doing outside, is everything OK?” Man: “No, I just found out Julia is sleeping with other men. I can’t go on living like this.” Woman: “Ooooo. Um…I was really hoping you had heartburn. That’s all I’ve got for you. Well, hope it works out!” Then you hear her slam the door and go back inside.
I had a show that night, so I pulled out a hot pink post it brighter than the sun. I then wrote, “Man has serious mental health crisis and wants to die. Woman has stupid Tums. Hilarious.” I stuck it on the dash so I wouldn’t forget. Yesterday, I picked up a nail in the tire and had to drop my car off at the shop and forgot about the bright pink post it stuck right on my dashboard. So some mechanic on the west side jumped in and saw a blazingly bright note I wrote about how funny a guy’s suicidal thoughts are and for some reason a lady has stomach pills. Hopefully, he didn’t grab the notebook shoved in the seat and read the joke ideas about gas station bathrooms I had on a road trip a few years back or there may be a police report started.