Things I learned this week

12 Thai boys and their coach were rescued from a flooded cave where they were miraculously extricated after licking water off rocks to survive.  I learned I will NEVER GO INTO A CAVE EVER AGAIN.

Stormy Daniels was arrested, then released under some strip club touching rule.  I learned apparently in Ohio there is an exemption for stripper touching/touching the stripper for immediate family.  I learned I need to find out how a bill where family can touch a stripper seriously is on the books as codified law.  I’m so confused and wish I never knew this information.

I learned not to use your cell phone light as a flashlight where it call fall over and crack you between the eyes when you get an email.

I also learned when you get a rental car and they ask you if a van is OK, you should ask back, “Does it smell like old, unwashed scrotum?”  I didn’t and I’ve never held my breath and drove so far in my life.

Finally, I learned that if you buy a small swimming pool for a toddler, she will want to swim every single day, no matter if at 6 am or 9 pm at night.  This was a worse purchase than slime.