One of the tasks for a wedding is selecting a DJ. A DJ can set the mood for any fun event. The requirements are knowledge of popular music, an outgoing personality, and a little bit of tech savvy. I have none of those things and here’s more explanation.
Knowledge of popular music. I know who Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are. I also know I’d rather get kicked in face than listen to their music. That’s sad, because they are probably 10 times the singers that most pop stars are. I’m the type of person that thinks the golden age of pop was when hair metal made the top 40. Hair metal ballads are the closest thing to pop I’ve got in my iPod and I have to be in a really odd mood to listen to that. Try working out to I Remember You by Skid Row. I dare you.
Outgoing personality. I don’t drink blood, but I’ll bet my old neighbors suspected me of being a nosferatu. I usually only came out of night, wore black and could be repelled with crucifixes and garlic breath. I’m in sales and use up all my friendly at work. I act like this when strangers approach me after hours.
Tech savvy. It took me five minutes to figure out how to turn on the mike the first time I hosted a show. I didn’t have the internet until 2007 and didn’t get a smartphone until I bought a used one in 2012. I do have several platinum trophies on PS3, which means I can’t program computers, but I can play video games until my fingers bleed.
That said, if you want a DJ that plays Machine Head, Jamey Johnson and Anthrax, refuses all requests and insults your party, I’m your Huckleberry.