When I first started stand-up, I heard various people tell me it took ten years to get really good; others threw out five or seven, but it was longer than I wanted to hear. Every comic thinks they are headliner ready after two sets and a laugh. I was at the Columbus Funny Bone open mic my first year and some really cocky guy was pounding drinks with his meathead buddies (basically reminding me of myself if I had started stand-up a few years earlier). He had a good set, which he should have, he brought twenty people. I should rephrase, he got a bunch of laughs, the set was not good. As he was smoking on the patio, his bros were saying all kinds of stupid like “You should be headlining here bro!” I finally couldn’t take it (I was a four month vet at that point) and said to one who was asking how he could headline – “Good luck, you just need to do that about seventy more times in a row.” His friend was arguing with me almost to the point of fighting. He left and came back the next week sans friends and our “young comic to watch” ate a steaming pile of fecal souffle.
I had to sit through old clips at 5 am while my son was trying to poop trying to find a particular block of jokes and it was horrifying. Keep in mind, I won three comedy contests in the first three years I did stand-up. Not Jerry’s Bar and Grill comedy night contests, like ones at real comedy clubs that are still in business. I actually deleted some clips off the internet forever. It wasn’t even just content. Here’s what I learned.
Holy hell, stop saying the same lead in phrases. I watched a clip that actually went to television and before every joke I said, “Here’s the thing.” I didn’t even know I said that in real life, but I said it before every joke.
GET RID OF THE BEER IDIOT. I used to swill a drink after every joke, like I was soaking in the laughs or had a medical condition where I need a sip after each and every sentence.
I was single back then and it showed. Good God, when you run all your jokes past the same group of people…just don’t do it. I think this is solid advice for everyone. One thing I will say back then is I took EVERY room that would book me, so I hope I broke out of that phase.
I do 95% less awkward squirm humor now and I would 10/10 recommend. At least for yourself watching.
COMICS UPDATE YOUR CLIPS. This is my most solid advice. I hate uploading videos and I got really tired of a few people almost demanding I put up material weekly, so I quit. For over ten years. No one should have to put up three hours and actually most comics should avoid putting anything up for the first year or two, but it burned me pretty bad recently and my new goal has become to record a new set in high quality. You may be a great comic, but without a good recording, good luck getting people to buy your solid word.
It’s not all negative, I did find two jokes I forgot I wrote I may do again. The other twelve I’m writing down, setting on fire and burying the ashes in the deepest ocean fissure I can find.