Recent business trip: case study in why I am angry about 33% of the time I’m awake. Spoiler alert: it’s other people.
Gets in car after last call, went well. Turns out I planned stops PERFECTLY and I’m 1.4 miles from hotel. HELL YES. Hits map button…30 minutes. Looks up at light, endless ocean of cars. Sigh.
Gets to hotel. It’s Tuesday, should be good to go. Six people in lobby. One is screaming he prepaid, not understanding how authorizations work. Two fat sleeveless types sitting by counter in line. Everyone goes, two other WT’s walk in and hot damn, walk right in front of me. AW NAW YOU DITINT! Turns out they did. Two billies are waiting for someone with a real credit card to come by and pay for room. Two other billies acknowledge they cut, but yet don’t give me access to check in. Two ‘riginal billies then tell me loudly how galdurn Rita ditint call in the right card. I debate setting fire to hotel, but have to poop. Grab phone and totally ignore ‘riginil billies. Get checked in. Almost.
Hotel guy – “Do you want to use this card? (Showing me card I totally just handed him).” Me – YAS. HG – “You reserved room with card blah.” Me – YAS! HG – “So what card?” Me – DAT WON RITE DERE. HG – “Are you sure?” Me – RUN THAT CARD FOR FUCK’S SAKE! HG – Here’s your room key, have a nice day! Me – DIE ERERYWON
Gets to room, feels like this guy needs to run an errand while I sit in this cave and die slowly of boredom. “Hey, how’s about I grab some travel booze for my wife and I’s trip, coming soon!” Punches up GPS, booze store is 0.3 miles away! WIN! Phone has me turn aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnddddddd I’m on a turnpike! Turns out the booze store is right behind the grocery! NO HIGHWAY NEEDED BUT NOW I’M BARRELING DOWN A PAY ROAD AND THE NEXT EXIT IS 15 MILES AWAY, MEANING 30 MILES ROUND TRIP. THANKS APPLE GPS MAP THING. (Side note, who puts a shopping plaza directly behind another shopping plaza?) The one shining light was there was no pay booth open, so I was able to Sunday drive for free, you know, other than the half hour and 30 miles of gas.
Side note: at this point, I was too tired to murder, so everyone is OK, but tomorrow is another day!
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