I constantly see popular shareable articles on what it is like living in Ohio and I was moved to do one of these by one thing.
This is a screenshot from my phone. Yesterday was a high of 60, low of 26. For those not good with math or really dumb, that’s 34 degrees in about 9 hours. That’s short sleeves to freezing to death in a parking lot if you lock your keys in your car. This is Ohio.
What else? Couple things I don’t see anywhere else. Ohio has three accents. 1) Ohio proper – very basic, Midwest, say pop instead of soda, blah blah blah we get it. 2) East coast influenced northeast Ohio. A lot of my Cleveland pals slip an “aaah” in for their “a” sounds. “That’s baaahd. I don’t like thaaaht.” Not very pronounced, but noticeable. Also some in that corner call sleds toboggans and snuff is called chew, which is really dumb since you don’t chew snuff. I know this because I have accent 3 – hillbilly. This is southern Ohio. I grew up with people saying “wursh” not wash, “crik” instead of creek and even a buddy that says “oinge” instead of orange. I myself say “before too long” instead of soon, but that’s probably just my dad.
Distances are measured in hours, not miles. Ohio people will literally drive to the sun and back instead of flying also. This may be true of multiple states, but every stupid town in Ohio with 14 or more people has a sign saying something when you drive into it. Example – “First marble courthouse in Northwest Territory” or “Home of the World’s fifth largest apple orchard in 1833.” I grew up in Zanesville, home of the Y Bridge, the only one in the world until Japan built one. You drove across a bridge, stopped at a light in the middle and went left or right. You could technically cross the bridge and wind up on the same side of the river. That just screams Ohio to me.
People from Ohio are typically very friendly, which is weird because it’s a swing state and politics are pretty nasty. Even most political arguments will fairly civil, but less so now with the internet giving people balls beyond their sense, but that’s everywhere. I guess the last part of being from Ohio is everyone says, “If you don’t like the weather, then wait five minutes!” which makes me want to move to San Diego just so I don’t have to hear that phrase ever again. Then again, San Diego probably wasn’t founded by Joseph Deerfield, the founder of the first brick kiln built west of the Ohio river or whatever, so maybe I’ll stay here after all. Actually, one more – being from Ohio means loving sports and all the pro teams not only suck, but have sucked for years. Ohio sports fans have Stockholm Syndrome.