Cat people vs. dog people – I constantly see the debate online. Well, your friend Chris is here to break it down and make it easy for you in your search for a pet.
Dog – Advantages: Personality, loyalty, home protection, exercise partner. Disadvantages: Cover everything you own in either long hair you can see from outer space or short hair you can’t remove with any brush. Need to go outside every six minutes when you’re busy. Potential to eat anything in your house when bored. Need attention more than any living creature, including your ex.
Cat – Advantages: Self-reliant – you can actually leave a cat in a house for days and not go to jail. Friendly 10% of the time. Disadvantages: Like to kill rodents and birds and deposit them in or around your house; occasionally bring a live one in just to entertain you – also cats literally are serial killers of smaller animals. Their pee could stop a small army in its tracks. Hate all other living creatures 90% of the time. Only want attention at the exact worst time in your life.
Fish – Advantages: Umm. Cool to look at? Disadvantages: Die if the eco-system is off 1%. Cleaning an aquarium or fish bowls is worse than eating rocks.
Bird – See Fish, insert word bird cage for fish bowl.
Reptile – Advantages: If you worship Satan or would fail an empathy test, this is your pet! Disadvantages: People rightly think you’re a psychopath.
Other: Get a dog or cat,weirdo.