Summer good, Summer not

Summer isn’t officially here, but when it’s 90 degrees with 90% humidity, you can take your Gregorian calendar and stick it.  Of course when you’re a kid, you love summer because it means once you take out the trash, you have nothing to do for 12 hours outside of run around outside.  Here’s the rundown of why summer is great and why it stinks.

Good – 1) Kids can play outside.  Once you have kids, you know what a glorious time this is.  2) Patio drinking.  3) You don’t have to wear socks.  For someone like my wife, it’s great because she hates wearing socks.  For me, I don’t mind socks, but I’m lazy and it’s one less thing to put on going out the door.  4) The sun doesn’t go down at 5:00 pm and rocket you into depression or sleepy time mode.  Whomever decided winter means the clock has to go back and make the sun set before you’re home from work should have been banished to a cave.

Bad – 1) Bugs.  I hate insects more than any human being on earth.  I currently have five mosquito bites on my legs that I have OCD scratched open to the point of bleeding.  If DDT was legal, I would wear it as cologne.  2) Stupid hot days.  Nothing like getting a fresh shower, putting on clean clothes and then being drenched in your own sweat walking to your car.  Oh and then getting in your car and dying.  3) Yard work.  This is winter’s strongest hand.  Grass doesn’t grow in winter.  4) Sun shining in your face when it’s the weekend and you can finally sleep in.  I’M HUNGOVER SUN, GTFO MY FACE.

So summer is a toss up for me.  I like the longer days and patio drinking, as long as I’m covered in citronella and air conditioning.  Someone make me an Iron Man suit that runs on Freon and it can stay summer forever.