Well, after a 5 week run of having two kids, I’m officially able to say having two kids is somewhat more challenging than having one. I know, I forgot to add a trigger warning or disclaimer, I’m just throwing it all out there. Here’s some things I’ve learned.
I want all hostage negotiators and bomb technicians to be family people. Sure, they may be sleep deprived, but anyone that can handle two crying children can handle something easy, like an explosive. Try changing a diaper with one hand while you keep a toddler from jumping off the bed onto the dog with the other.
Sleep when you can! My wife is nursing, so she has worse than anyone, since newborns wake up every couple hours to eat, but she doesn’t nap often during the day because she wants to “pay bills” and “clean the house” and “eat.” SLEEP. Last night everyone fell asleep and I was reading one of those unsolved murder pop-ups on my phone (I’m addicted, please send help) when I came to an epiphany. SLEEP STUPID. So I went to sleep. My daughter woke up at 3 am and wanted milk and stories, so I’m glad I went to bed early. Probably shouldn’t have read her the unsolved murder stories, but I didn’t screw up the milk.
YOU WILL ALWAYS FORGET SOMETHING AT THE GROCERY NOW. JUST LIVE WITH IT.
Use the skills you have with kid #1 on kid #2. I now am able to survive because of skills perfected with my daughter. Example – I had never changed a diaper before her, but I am proficient now. The other morning I was changing my son’s and observed he had not pooped. I quickly changed him in under 20 seconds and the second I applied the tape, I had a guttural rumbling and wet explosive blast. Had I been three seconds slower, I would have been covered in semi-solid waste. Side note: It’s amazing how loud a newborn can fart/crap.