OK, that sounds fair

I have never particularly cared for bouncers.  I was getting a very drunk friend out of a bar once and while we were walking out, a bouncer said, “Get the hell out of here.”  I said, “Yes, got it, we’re leaving.”  He said, “Yeah, that’s right, get out.”  It angered me, so I reversed course and said, “Actually, we’re not leaving.”  I made him (and three other bouncers then physically remove us.  Don’t act like you tossed us – we were leaving anyways.  Now you have to earn it.  I had another one toss a buddy out into subzero temps for a very small reason, so I had to wait with him for 20 minutes for a taxi and nearly lost an ear.

That said, I did it once for comedy show and it sucked all the way to the top.  I went to see a couple friends do their first ever paid sets at a bar – new comics pack ’em in, because there were over 200 people at the bar to see them and the other comics.  The booker asked if I wanted to make some extra money helping watch the door.  Sure, I thought.  Three hours later, he was smashed drunk and I had to take $5 a head from everyone that walked in, including townies and regulars.  One very aggressive white trash patron decided he was going to kick my ass because he didn’t have to pay.  Luckily, the owner was right there and overrode my “business partner” who was on his 9th Miller Lite.  After a tremendous shit show and three hours of trying to make change, argue with people and coming an inch from fighting a guy who I could tell had been to prison, the booker staggered over and handed me $20.

It was then and there I decided 1) This won’t happen again and 2) If I am ever put around money and the guy collecting gets hammered, I am making a hell of a lot more if you catch my drift.  There are severe disadvantages to having ethics and morals.  “Hey, it wouldn’t be right for me to take this hard working man’s money!”  (Gets punched while hard-working booker works hard on ignoring the door and ordering red headed slut shots; reconsiders entire upbringing, steals $125 in loose cash)