There’s a weird societal experiment we call social media that’s been going on for a while now. When the internet first got rolling, it was a slow, lumbering sideshow. You used to get booted off when your buddy’s little brother picked up the phone. The first thing I remember was a text based game me and my high school buddies played where you went from planet to planet (via text) to mine ore and get stronger defenses from rivals. Of course, there was some dick that had played so long every four days he would find you on planet 932 (planets were all 0-999) and wipe out every living thing. There were trolls in 1995, everyone, before you could even order stuff online.
Of course, it’s much better now right? Sort of. Facebook has become one of the most steadfast foundations in people’s lives over the last decade – it’s where people share photos, get in touch with long, lost friends and family and make ALL NEW friends…who you will likely soon be annoyed by! Here’s how to get unfriended on Facebook, and possibly in the real life too!
– Mash your politics in everyone’s face. We all have different life experiences, right? NOPE I GOT THIS ALL FIGURED OUT AND YOU’RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT, PERSON I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH FOR TWO YEARS. I’M A GENIUS ON ECONOMICS EVEN THOUGH I DON’T HAVE $100 IN ALL MY ACCOUNTS COMBINED. Seriously, though. If you post seven political posts a day, start a website.
– Chain letter posts. If I see the ol’ “if you don’t share this post, _________ will die or you hate America or Santa won’t give any homeless orphans presents” you’re off the list. Share a donation page or list an actual charity – no one is being saved by your chain letter post.
– Be racist. Gone. I actually unfriended the same person twice for this (thankfully the only one). I remember seeing them in my friend request list, clicked accept, saw one post and thought, “Oh, yes, that’s why I deleted them years ago. Thanks for the reminder.”
– Lastly, people that just in general are sticks in the mud. I had one person recently that was constantly overusing big words to sound smart and complaining about the “system” and how unfair everyone was. I saw a post where this person said, “People will probably unfriend me for speaking the truth!” Well, they were half right. If you exhaust me, I’ll waste my time reading something more useful, like bathroom limericks.