I had to do some repairs on my condo recently, which means I have three options. 1) Pay someone a ton of money (not going to happen). 2) Lay down and kick and scream and hope someone feels bad for me and fixes the things (more likely than 1). 3) Get my dad or wife to do it and “help.” I “help” by holding things and fading in and out of focus thinking about eagles or beer.
We had to replace a wax ring on a toilet. Easy, right? Well, then I found you have to get all the bacteria laced water out of the bowl. Oh well, just wash up if it splashes on you OH GOD NO THE WATER IS TURNED OFF. I’m either going to die or I’m an actual cockroach. “What’s your mutant power, cockroach man?” “Oh, I can drink from a toilet and run from flashlights.”
I then had to replace a garbage disposal – pretty easy actually. However, did you know they don’t provide electric cords/plugs? That’s right, you have to buy the electrical stuff and do it yourself! That’s way easier than just plugging the plug in the outlet. I need more work to do! The downside is that when you realize the disposal has been broken for years smells like wet, rotting death, you are begging to go back to the toilet job.
I now think plumbers are the most underpaid people on Earth. In summation, it’s all fixed and if I was 7 times better looking, I could get a show on HGTV. At least maybe the white trash contractor who says, “This is gonna cost ya!” That’s more likely.