(Alarm goes off, moves arm seven inches to turn off) Dog immediately detects movement, either shoves icy nose into my face or jumps on me, wiping out any chance of extending sleep. Realize now that I’m up I have to take a leak. Let dog out, go to pee, cat now jumps on counter, begins meowing for treat aka threatening to wake up the entire house. Now have to take a leak more, but grabs cat food, feeds cat. Cat sniffs food, walks away, unimpressed.
Turns towards bathroom, dog is jumping on back door, spreading mud everywhere. Lets dog in, wipes paws. Dog starts whining for food, threatening to wake up entire house. Get dog food, may piss pants. Sees dog is back asleep on dog bed by time food is put in dish. Head for bathroom finally, thinking about giving pets to good home. Daughter stirs, crying out for hot milk. Starts hot water, contemplates urinating in sink. Does get to finally blow nose while waiting, tissue in winter looks like someone went through a plate glass window. Wonders if any blood is left in body. Takes milk upstairs, daughter has fallen back asleep. All for naught. Finally relieves self, second alarm goes off on phone while hands are occupied, wakes entire house. Puts reminder on phone to get adult diapers and not have to do this routine again.
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